its a long lonely day

I lost something in the way wherever i am today.



and by the time i got on my banana board i was trippin balls pretty hard

- cat mac

its a long lonley day Why is it when everyone is tired I offer to carry them? Even tho I have a broken back and blown out knees. Everyday I'm a more and more exhumed & just a little less human and lot more bitter and cold. I'm working on my suicide note. After all these images of pain, Have cut right through me. I try to show you that place, in my chest where my heart, still tries to beat; It still tries to beat. My eyes wide open shut. Air blows through our trees, swims through our seas. Flies through the last gasp we left on this earth. That's how I feel. Someone has scopped out my guts and all that remains is just one empty hole. Nobody will ever understand. I don't even understand it. I know I'll never know until I come face to face with my own cold dead face, with my own wooden case. I'm a fugitive from my own life. i was born in a junkyard and it used to be the prettiest little thing to me. How much can one man stand before he kisses a cold dead street? This cross bares a billion lost souls Three times do I fall to my bloody bare feet?


lizzy newman-
me and her are goin to be internet stars with our photography. shes a great artist.

watch this video, it makes me cry....


i watched this movie last weekend and it made me think...



"should i die again? should i die around, the punds of matterwealing through space."

-blake

I remember watching movies when I was little and wishing it was all real. That all that rlly happend. That I could really be a princess with a pink dress with blonde hair like the sleeping beauty. Or that I could rlly get stranded in a island and make a living there like the swiss family robinson. Then I grew up. Everything changed. My thoughts, my body, everything. I realize everything in a realistic way.
I still wish I could run away. I still wish I could make a living in a stranded island.
The best time of my life is based on memories.
My happiness was all based when I was sent away from my parents for 6 months.
My happiness has a timer. And its broken right now. Trying to fix it is so difficult.
Basically all I can do is cry. That's my happiness now, crying. Remembering those times I was happy.
I look at the pictures that I have in a small box. Pictures of when I was little. When went to disney, knotts, and the fourth of july.
They make me cry. I looked so sad in each and everyone of them.

"Maybe if where lucky, maybe after you die, maybe theirs just noting"
- providence




I remember back when I was in elementry school and I ran away from home.
I ran away for hours.
I liked how it felt, how nobody knew where I was. How I was just alone, no one else but me.

Its so hard to explain every situation in the right words of your life.

Some people spend the rest of their lifes trying to figure out life until they've relized that life has just skipped by and they've missed it.